The bedtime scene as it really should unfold:
I give the Peanut his bath before Andrew gets home. Dinner is in the oven ready to go. I feed the Peanut and put him down to sleep. Andrew, Weebles and I have a nice dinner around the table. I tidy up the kitchen as they are finishing up. Andrew gives Weebles her bath while I feed the Peanut again and get him re-settled. The Weebs and I spend some time keeping the eczema monsters away and getting her in her jammies. The three of us climb into bed and read some bedtime stories and then I nurse Julie to sleep. Time = 8pm
The scene last night (most nights resemble this in some form):
I give Peanut his bath while Weebs tries to throw heavy plastic objects at his head. Dinner is on the stove in danger of burning any second. I jump out of the tub and run dripping wet to the kitchen to stir everything then run back to appease my grumpy toddler and screaming infant. Peanut doesn't want to sleep so I end up nursing him throughout dinner while we all sit in front of the TV watching TiVoed Daily Shows. Weebs throws 93% of her dinner on the floor then screams for "SKEEEEM" pointing towards the kitchen. I figure I'd rather she eat something rather than nothing so I grab her some ice cream and then try to put the Peanut down again while I start the bath. Tonight was special in that the lawn really needed to get mowed and there isn't any other time before we leave town to get it done. So, Andrew took off outside to do that while I climbed in the tub with Weebs. Right about the time we got in, Peanut started wailing. I frantically try to get the soap out of her hair and then plop her out while I run to fetch the baby. By this time she wants to know where the hell Daddy is and starts up a signature toddler tantrum. She sees him going by the window on the mower every couple of minutes and gets freshly angst ridden. She's running around totally naked while I realize the poor Peanut had managed to leak out of his diaper and his whole sleeper is soaking wet. So, I change him while the toddler is at my feet wailing loudly. I put the baby on the bed and chase the Weebs around with lotion trying to get at least most of her covered having realized only today that pollen causes her eczema to flare up. Then I wrestle her (and you parents of toddlers know just how literally I mean this) into a diaper and her PJs. Off to nurse the once again screaming baby after throwing on the damn Backyardigans. Weebs' eyes instantly glaze over at she gazes lovingly at the screen. I get the baby settled down and put him to bed, soother going. I dose up the toddler with Benadryl (it's recommended for her eczema dammit... it had almost nothing to do with the way bedtime was going so far). Then it's teeth wrangling time and finally into the bed we go with a few books. After nursing her to sleep I try to sneak away because Peanut has started to meck in his crib and I'm terrified it is going to wake her up. She keeps inching closer to me every time I try to sneak away. Finally I get out of bed and turn the soother back on to keep the baby quiet for a few minutes longer. Then, I have to run upstairs and make up the crib because I washed all the bedding. Again, if you've never put a sheet on a crib mattress you are missing a particular brand of hell on earth. Finally, the Weebles is tucked in and the Peanut has dozed off. Time = 9:30pm And the kitchen is a total wreck in case you are keeping score. G'night!
Grand Theft Auto
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