It's been a semi-self imposed media blackout this past week. I know my dozensof loyal readers have been wondering just what on earth has happened to me. There's been a lot going on of late and most of it I am not yet inclined to discuss at length. The kids are doing great. We've been trying to get out of the same old routine and find some new things for them to explore. I've been trying to keep up with my favorite bloggers without falling into too much time on the interwebs. I'm joining up with NaBloPoMo in August so it is just as well to have taken a bit of a break before that whirlwind starts. For reals though, doesn't anybody want or know of a good home for a lively trained Husky? I don't know what else we can do to locate his owners and without a fence we just don't have the space for him to run like he needs to.
What the hell are you doing with your schedule? Are you not aware that children THRIVE on routine? What is up with these marathons of shows at odd times of the day. Every day the schedule is different. Don't you know that we eat breakfast during Franklin and lunch during Oswald. And if I have to watch the Fresh Beat Band, which was only a month ago the Jump Arounds, one more damn time I'm going to flip. They aren't any more talented or appealing than they were with the old name. Nope, still sucks. I want to kick that tall white guy in the teeth. I don't know who is in charge over there but please fix it. The next thing I know I'll be watching two straight days of Oobi.
PS. If you tinker with Wubbzy in the 5:30 time slot, we're through.
PPS. If anyone out there is feeling judgy about my kids watching TV during mealtime I respectfully tell you to suck it. I have to put my baby down for a nap while my toddler is eating and unless you have a better idea the best thing I've found for keeping her from covering my walls with mac and cheese is to let her zone out to "educational" telly. She's got real good interpersonal skills I tell ya...
Since I have no new posts from the majority of blogs I read I have been left with nothing else to do during naptime except pack clean put away laundry shred blog myself.
I've spent both yesterday evening and this morning trying out new recipes for the little pre-baptism breakfast we are hosting at the church. So far I'm 0 for 3. Sigh. The first recipe I tried was Mini Lemon Blueberry Muffins. I realized as I was making it that it seemed like a very little amount of sugar and also quite a lot of salt. The batter tasted like lemon PlayDoh. Can I say PlayDoh? Where is my Blogger Ethics manual? Lost? Well that's no surprise around here.
The second recipe was for Sausage Balls. I've seen these a million places but never made them. Paula Deen's recipe called for 4 cups cheese, 3 cups Bisquick to 1 lb sausage. I have one hell of a time trying to get all that cheese and Bisquick incorporated and ultimately did not succeed very well. When I baked them they ended up with one flat side because I didn't think to flip them every so often. I think I'll try them again but with less Bisquick and probably less cheese and see what happens.
The third recipe I had high hopes for. It takes Crescent roll dough and adds a cream cheese/sugar/lemon mixture with a spoonful of cherry pie filling on top. I'm not sure where things went wrong with this recipe. But they were not nearly as pretty or tasty as I'd hoped.
So I'm back to the drawing board. It is sort of an awkward situation whenever there is a breakfast like this because of the Weebles' egg allergy. I'd rather do everything myself rather than delegate because then I know everything will be safe for her. I try really hard to not eat things in front of her she can't have. Anybody have any good breakfast finger food recipes?
I have been thinking about what brings on the "terrible twos" and I think there is a point where a child goes from being a cute little bundle just along for the ride to being their own person. This, at least for us, is coinciding with the second birthday. Now my daughter knows what she wants and has the means to ask for it. She understands choices and desperately wants to be able to make them for herself. This has been really hard for me to come to grips with. But after giving it some thought while lying in bed for hours upon hours waiting for her hard head to go to sleep I can see why this change is (of course) necessary and also welcome. I'm glad to see her growing and learning. I'm glad to see her new found independence and hope that she learns to really appreciate and trust herself. It is a lot of responsibility on us as parents to make sure she gets the guidance she needs from us so that she learns how to cope with her bigger than life emotions and also how to make good decisions. Yipes. File this one under: Who thought us being parents was a good idea?
So you might have noticed I haven't written anything of substance ever since last Tuesday. There is a very good reason for this. Well actually two reasons. 1.) I'm lazy. but 2.) My kids are trying to do me in. More specifically the Weebles. Did you know toddlers are batshit crazy? CRAZY??!?! Some days she wakes up in the morning screaming her head off. Beside me in bed! She's not even shut up in some horrid crib all by herself abandoned to wake up alone and afraid. No no no. She's snuggled into a king sized feather bed soft cushy snuggle land. Where she sleeps freaking sideways on the pillows no less and kicks her dad in the head all night. It is as though I didn't foresee her need for milk, Blue's Clues, my chap stick fast enough. I should have known before she even woke up to have whatever it is she might want directly in front of her eyes to appease her. The day continues on from there. The least little change in wind direction is apt to throw her into a spiral of despair. And good luck cheering her up because the girl can hold a grudge. And the sleeping, oh my God the sleeping. She just plain doesn't want to. No thank you, none for me today. She didn't go down for a nap yesterday until three. That is 3+ hours later than usual. I admit I gave up for a bit there and told her to watch TV and leave me alone or I might totally lose it but a big chunk of that three hours was spent patting, nursing, negotiating, threatening, yada yada. Bedtime was a similar story except I decided to doze off while she was supposed to be doing the same. She thought it would be clever to poke her finger up my nose. She found this outright hilarious, but I did not share her sentiment. I honestly feel like I spent the entire time I was home yesterday trying to convince someone to sleep. Sigh. I know this is just a phase. We've been here before. And even the very worst of days have moments of clarity where I see her share her favorite toy with her little brother or she runs up and throws her arms around me and gives me kisses. I know we'll weather this rocky patch and come out the other side a little more grown up, both her and me.
Today was what I guess you'd call "one of those days." If by "those days" you mean a day where I really did consider getting in my car putting it in drive and going. Keep in mind that to get out of the driveway I have to go in reverse and that by putting it in drive I'd be plowing straight into the woods and you get the picture. Naptime just went straight to hell. I don't know what went wrong. We have a routine, we stick to it. Nobody around here is crazy. We know you do.not.mess.with.the.routine.
Fed the Weebs her lunch, went upstairs to nurse the Peanut and tuck him in. Only he didn't go to sleep. Fine, so I'll tuck him in anyway and go get W ready for nap. Maybe he'll just fall asleep on his own. Diaper, hands and face washed, all fifty seven required lovey items located and thrown onto the bed... arrg there is the P is over the monitor starting to sound panicked. Upstairs I went to discover a funky diaper. Well okay, fair enough kid. Get him all cleaned up, nursed (again) and tucked back in. Teeth brushing for W, another diaper and into the bed with some books. All through Goodnight Moon and ChickaChicka Boom Boom I could hear him up there doh doh dohing and smacking at his crib farm wondering why it wasn't playing. Nurse the W alllllllmost to sleep and figure she'll get herself the rest of the way, things are getting desperate upstairs. Up I go to find a wide awake six month old. Sigh. Fine little man, into the saucer you go. I figured I'd let him hang out with me in the office awhile before his nap.
What's that noise? The Weeble is up? Seriously? WTF? Back downstairs to threaten her with time out if she didn't get back into bed. Major tantrum. She insisted she wanted to sleep upstairs so, wait a minute? did you pee AGAIN? diaper change #3, then up we go to her new toddler bed. I hated to discourage her since she was asking, even though I knew it was going to end badly. Sure enough she was in, she was out. Threats were made. I threw her in her crib for a few LOUD minutes to show her I meant business. Moved Peanut back to his crib since I didn't want to leave him alone in the saucer... back downstairs with W... and so on and so forth. It took me 2 1/2 hours of constant nursing, changing, and threatening to get those two to sleep. I sunk into the couch with the laptop ready to tweet my misery when oh.my.GOD is that my son up already? Seriously did I run over the Patron Saint of Naps' cockapoo or something? Not even ten minutes he slept. As I pondered what to do I heard the Weebs downstairs wailing. Are you kidding me? No freaking way. The afternoon did not improve from there. And as I write this my husband is outside pushing the toddler in the stroller for what must be the ten millionth mile trying to get her to sleep. There's always tomorrow right?
When there just aren't any coherent thoughts... here are some winners I decided not to tweet, complete with hashtags.
The Peanut's first teeth are starting to come in. So far he's been a real champ about it. #thewhiskeymustbeworking
My uncle spent the weekend visiting with us and the kids. He had one too many daiquiris and got the giggles and in general behaved like an asshat. Good times. #atleasthedidn'tstealfromus
Left the Weebles' with her Papa for the first time while I ran to Wal-Mart. Got the call ten minutes later to pick her up. Found her alone in the back yard sobbing in the grass. #babysittingfail
Still pondering how to go about tactfully asking someone I haven't seen in awhile if they are pregnant. Either they are or they need to burn the shirt they are wearing in that photo. #justsayin
Peanut is outgrowing the minicrib but Weebles is still sleeping in the full size one. Can't decide whether to buy a second full size crib or get with the program and finish babyproofing the entire upstairs and move Weebs to a big girl bed. #babybunchinghurtsmybrain
Both my kids are about to be in the same size diapers even though they are a year and a half apart. #thingsthatmakemylifeeasier
After looking at some recent photos on the Facespace I have come to the conclusion that while I never really felt I "got" fashion I am totally lost at what people are wearing these days. I saw a picture of one girl wearing a full on 80's get up and then another her same age wearing a skin tight t-shirt with a picture of a wrestler on it. #imustbereallyreallyreallyold
I like that it isn't so hot today and we are actually able to set foot outside without feeling miserable.
I love that it is Friday and I will get a real weekend for the first time in two weeks.
I love to eat yummy food.
I dislike that eating aforementioned yummy food isn't really helping with losing baby weight.
I love that I am able to stay home with my babies.
I dislike that I often feel like I don't know what to do with them to keep them entertained.
I love the internets. That makes me feel pretty sad, actually.
I dislike it when my cats decide to pee in inappropriate places such as the diaper bag.
I love my new laundry room and washer and dryer. Somebody called it laundry porn and they aren't kidding. Ahhh so lovely.
I like that my husband is going to finally hang the baby gate at the top of the stairs this weekend or I may decide to dislike him.
I love that my toddler says please, thank you, excuse me and I'm sorry and she's not even two. She does this because her father and I always use those words with her. Amazing how simple teaching manners can be.
I dislike a certain someone that has ruined the lives of several people close to me. I love how sweet it is going to be when the law finally rides into town.
I like lemons.
I love French Fryz (name of a restaurant)
Which brings me to a dislike: People that misspell words like Fryz thinking it is cute.
I love that I was able to have my two babies with no medical intervention.
I love that I was able to breastfeed through my pregnancy and have been able to tandem nurse. I don't know what I would have done without that.
Speaking of: I LOVE that I am not pregnant this summer. :)
If given one day from my pre-baby life here is roughly how I'd spend it.
I'd sleep. I'd take some Tylenol PM if I had to but dammit I'd sleep. A lot. Like at least ten hours. Considering I get about four (total, not in a row) now that would be quite a change.
I would actually plan out something decent for myself to eat rather than grabbing at whatever is closest and fastest and will also suit a toddler that basically likes rice, fruit and chicken nuggets.
I would take a shower without having to worry about the toddler that had insisted on coming in with me and just how cold she must be because she refuses to get under the water. The poor kid is a babysicle every time. Then I'd take a bath. With adult bubble bath instead of the pthalate free kid variety. It would also be at least 110 degrees.
I might even watch a little TV. I watch NO TV now unless Noggin counts. I miss the Daily Show.
I think I'd go to a movie. It has been right at two years since I've been to one. I doubt I've missed anything but still...
And I suppose given that I will have had an entire day to myself I might even get around to spending a little time with the husband. As it is now both of us are running on such a "me time" deficit that we gladly wave goodbye to each other when the last kid is finally in bed in search of our own activities. Meaning I usually twitter and go to bed and Andrew usually stays up and draws. And those are the nights when there is any time at all left over for such a thing. Tonight will not be one of those nights.
However, as much as I'd love to fit in a little more time for my old life I know how I would really spend the day. I'd spend it missing the hell out of my babies and running to find them where ever they were.
I feel like I haven't had six inches of personal space in two years. I am accompanied to the bathroom, while sleeping and now even in the shower. Breastfeeding two kids at the same time understandably has its challenges. Some nights I feel like I'm nursing somebody all night long. I frequently wake up and am surprised to discover I am not beside the child I thought I was and can't remember going from one to the other. Some days it gets to be too much. This morning I snapped while trying to get ready for work with two kids and my husband in the bathroom with me. CanIjustgetdressedbymyself PLEASE. Being able to complete any task without stepping over at least one person on the floor and/or one tugging at my leg would be unreal these days. It can definitely be exhausting... but I wouldn't have it any other way.
I didn't think I'd like blogging. I started HAWK basically as a place to vent and also as a way to keep up with little milestones and daily tidbits so I could look back and remember what it was like. Like the fact that the Peanut decided to start babbling Saturday morning at 5:30 am. Nothing but squeals before that precise moment when he looked up at me as I tried helplessly to avoid eye contact thinking he might go back to sleep and happily said doh, doh, doh! He hasn't looked back since. Other mommies I read blog for different reasons. Some are *real* writers taking a break while raising their little ones. Some are super funny, some are working through hardships and using their space to grieve, and some even make a living blogging. I don't know where the future of this blog will go but I plan to keep on doing it for awhile. While I doubt I'll ever go to BlogHer or get into it that seriously I really do enjoy it and the virtual company of the mommy blogger community.
I can't even be bothered to try to contain my excitement. My closest friend got engaged yesterday and I am so thrilled for her and her fiance (that word has always been weird to me, I called my husband my boyfriend until we got married, heh.) It seems like in our little social circle there hasn't yet been a whole lot of marriage and kids going on just yet. One of Andrew's friends is married with two children but that's about it. I could barely even sleep I was so excited last night. And we all know how crazy it is not to be able to sleep when given the chance. I was thinking about all the fun stuff that is to come and how I can't wait for Gypsi and Derek to have their day just the way they want it. It made me think about how precious a gift it is to have no reservations. I would undeniably still be very happy for them either way but it would be different if I wasn't quite sure they were perfect for each other. It wouldn't be quite as exciting if Andrew and I sat around saying, "Well I sure hope they are doing the right thing..." What a blessing to know how right it is and to be able to focus on the sheer eeeeep! of the whole thing. Now if I can just manage to not totally drive them bonkers. I feel like one of those crazy excited yappy dogs running around in circles.
Six months. It's really hard to believe that six months have flown by since you came into our lives. I love how you and I get up first thing in the morning (typically, while the ladies sleep in a little bit). You gurgle with happiness when I appear over your bed, and carefully watch me from your highchair as I feed the cats and start the morning routine. There used to be a time where I could safely put you on your playmat on the floor in the bathroom while I took a shower. But then, one day, without warning, I came out of the shower to find that you had turned over onto your stomach and had scootched backwards about ten feet. Whoops. Now there's no looking back. Your stationary days are over.
About the time that I am out of the shower and putting in my contacts, your sister typically bursts through the bathroom door looking for us. Your eyes, so unfocused and sleepy as a newborn, watch her so intently now as she walks around. You obviously think she's the bee's-knees, and I guess that one reason you're so intent to go mobile is so you can follow her around and get into trouble with her. I am looking forward to watching you try to emulate her. Of course, you already do that to a certain extent, given that anytime you see her crying you invariably break down and start wailing right along with her, even if you were happy and giggling just two seconds earlier.
But your eyes light up the most for your mommy. I've never seen a smile quite as large as the one on your face when I fly you towards her in the morning when she's waking up (or, any other time she comes into your line of vision). This is all understandable, of course, because my eyes light up for her too.
It's hard to leave on weekdays to go to work, but I enjoy what time we do have in the evenings when I return. I enjoy having dinner as a family, and love watching you flail your arms in the general direction of any food-filled spoon headed your way. It won't be long before you'll be sitting up in the chair picking up puffs off of your tray and cramming them into your mouth.
It's an interesting thing, watching you grow up. Just like with your sister, when I look back at how you were, I miss that younger version of you. In a month I will miss the way you are now. At the same time, my love for you grows as you grow. I love you more now than I loved you before. In a month I will love you even more. It's an interesting dynamic. It's what makes watching you grow up so exciting.
Today you turn six months old. It is hard to believe it has been that long already. You are working on sitting up, but don't see what all the hype is about. Your favorite thing is floor time. You are already up on your hands and knees and can spend hours scootching around your room or downstairs. You still love to nurse and like your sister you have gotten so you need that nice milk coma in order to fall asleep. Your naps still pretty much suck but you have gotten so you like to reliably sleep for a bit in the morning. Sometimes two hours, sometimes two minutes. Nighttime sleep continues to be great so thank you for that. Feel free to keep that up. Still no teeth which is surprising since your sister already had her first two by now. That is okay though, no hurry. Teething is no fun anyway. You've already had some rice cereal and peas, sweet potatoes, squash, apples and pears. You aren't eating with any regularity yet though because you are still having a hard time getting used to it even though you love to grab the spoon and cram it in your mouth. When you eat you get food all. over. yourself. Head to toe. You insist on cramming your hands and occasionally feet in your mouth right after a bite of food. Then you rub your hands all over your head and clothes. You are the reason bath time follows dinner. And lets take a moment to discuss the drool. The Drool is really out of hand. It is so bad some days you need a new shirt more than once. You have really found your voice just in the last few weeks. No babbling yet, but you like to gurgle and coo. You love to scream and continue to be a LOUD baby. We took you to Cracker Barrel with Allison last weekend and your squeals filled the entire restaurant. You won't sleep without your fuzzy blanket under you but you don't seem to have settled on a lovey just yet. You like your jumper and can already play with all the toys on the saucer. You seem to be geared toward movement and objects more so than people but you still love your mama. The sappy gummy smiles you give me make every second of the first two months of your life when you screamed nonstop worth it. You think the cats are funny and your sister too. You love to laugh when you watch her play. You are also very ticklish on your belly and under your chin. I love coming upstairs to feed you when you wake up around 4 0r 5 in the morning. We snuggle down on the couch in your room and fall back asleep together. In the next few months I know you'll learn all sorts of things. You'll make more sounds, and get the hang of crawling. Pulling up on furniture and trying to take steps will follow that. I'm just not ready for all of this. You were just my little bitty newborn that looked like a squished up red frog with a softball sized bump on your head screaming as though you were being poked with hot forks. Instead when I look in your crib I find you trying to jump while lying down and waving your arms and beaming up at me as if to say "MOMMY! Yay I was so hoping it would be you or that tall guy that makes funny faces at me." My little froggy, my droolster, my Drewbie, my little man, the Drewster, buddy, my baby boy I love you and can't wait to see what you're going to come up with in the next six months.