Monday, August 17, 2009

One for the baby book

Over Christmas our refrigerator quit working. Just totally quit cooling whatsoever. Now keep in mind that A.) I was nine hundred months pregnant and B.) As a result of A. we didn't travel for the holidays and instead had everyone here. Which of course translates into the fact that it would have been really keen to have a functioning refrigerator what with all the food that generally accompanies guests and holidays. So I did what any crazy person rational pregnant lady would do and calmly screamed that we needed a new fridge rightthatveryminute.

Nooo nooo said my darling husband and father in law. Not only did we not need a new fridge, hell we could fix it ourselves. This little comedy actually landed me in an appliance parts store seconds before they closed to purchase some whatchamadoohickey in my extraordinarily pregnant state. The lady running the store was not amused at the fact I was preventing her from closing on time on a Saturday coupled with the fact that I had no freaking clue what I was buying. She actually looked at me and without a hint of a smile said "I sure hope you don't let them talk you into delivering the baby themselves too." Egads.

I seem to recall going off on sitting down with my husband and discussing the fact that a baby would be arriving any day now and that by God there'd damn well better be refrigeration in this house because I would need food and plenty of water and possibly somewhere to store milk for the baby. While I enjoying roughing as much as the next gal I wasn't having much fun going out on the deck to get ice out of a cooler for the twelve gallons of water a day I was drinking at the time. That just wasn't gonna fly when there was a newborn to be cared for on top of everything else. I was assured things were back in perfect working order.

Fast forward one week and my inlaws swing by the hospital with our 17 month old to bring us and our new family member home. Have I mentioned before that our new little boy screamed? Not like "Heh babies cry" oh no. We're talking MOTHA EFFN SCREAMED. I knew it was unusual because even the nurses would kind of avoid us and made snide comments. So to say I was a bit of a train wreck would be an understatement. On the way home with my SCREAMING infant and my toddler who hadn't seen much of her mama in two days and was overdue for a nap I overheard my father in law say something to my husband. Now I was in the waaaay back of the van and there were two kids, one of whom that was SCREAMING, in between us so I couldn't make out much. But you'd better believe the words "oh by the way, the refrigerator quit working again" loud and clear. If I wasn't so knocked on my ass from the delivery and SCREAMING baby things would have been far worse for my poor husband. As it was they had some old guy come out and fix it before I killed someone. The ice maker still doesn't work, for the record.

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