Back to work?

The Peanut had his 2 month check up today. He is developmentally advanced according to the doctor because he can roll over and hold his head up so well. The flirtatious smiles he was doling out probably didn't hurt his cause any. Since he had improved so much emotionally we decided to go ahead with vaccines on schedule. The poor little boy turned such a dark color I honestly had to ask the nurse if he was okay. He's a second born so the things that freak me out are much fewer but hoo boy he was not pleased. He calmed down after a few minutes and promptly passed out. I had planned to go by JTS on the way home since I hadn't gotten my act together and managed to go in since he was born. Since he was so soundly asleep I figured it was safe to give it a try. He did a great job and didn't get upset at all whew. I surprised myself by realizing how much I miss those two mornings a week to sit at a desk, answer phones and email and otherwise be in "adult" company. My co-workers will laugh at that description no doubt. Maybe I should revise that to "mostly adult" company. The first few weeks after Peanut was born I honestly thought there was no way I could ever go back. I also thought there was no way I'd ever get to go anywhere or do anything but that's a different story. I started to ponder on the way home how I could make it work. Perhaps wait until the summer is over and JT gets busy enough to even need me? By then he'd be on solid foods and I would be able to leave him for longer periods. Or maybe go back sooner and hire a nanny to stay here WITH grandma so she'd have back up. I don't know if I'll ever be the kind of mom that can leave her kids with someone she doesn't know very very very well. I reserve the right to change my mind on that in the future :) I started to have hope though, that maybe it could work... just maybe I could carve out a few hours a week to go and spend some time doing something besides being Mom. Then, I got home. The Weebles had fallen and busted her lip, not only did she have a diaper in bad need of a change but I also discovered that to clean the CUT on her LIP her poor grandmother had used a cloth diaper that we use to dry off Peanut at diaper changes. Did I mention it was a CUT on her LIP. Ugh, the germs. Great googily moogily as the Ferocious Beast would say... and yes I'm quoting children's cartoons now... how gross. I didn't even know what kind of damage control was possible there so I'm going with the wait and see and pray and trynottothinktoomuchaboutit route. So now I'm back to wondering about whether I really will ever get out...