So today I took a shower. You SAHM's know where I'm comin' from right? Yeah. So today was shower day. My son naps like twelve minutes at a time so you can forget about trying to gather my toddler and get downstairs and wait for the water to heat up (don't get me started on that...) and take a shower before he wakes up. So the upshot is I have to find a way to take a shower with two small mobile children in the bathroom with me. They keep me young...
Anyhoo, so I closed the closet doors and tried to secure things the best I could and hopped in. Of course the Weebles' instantly was all about getting in too. I've found it is far easier to just comply with this request so trying not to drip all over the carpet I yanked her pajamas off. But she couldn't just get in. Noooo, she must first gather all manner of bath toys to throw in too. Because, hey! rubber duckies are fun in the shower too right? Right? **crickets** As I was waiting for her to finally get in, cold air pouring in through the open door, Peanut hauls it over and tries to crawl in too. This is where I draw the line. So I'm balancing on one foot using the other to hold him back and while encouraging the Weebs to hurry up. Finally she gets in and I shut the door. Peanut takes up his spot pressed up against the doors banging with his little hands to get in. Finally. I get to the business of trying to wash my hair while the daily chorus of "Mommy doonee?" (Mommy what are you doing?) starts up.
"Mommy doonee?" - Weebles
"Washing my hair honey" - me
"Mommy doonee? - Weebles
"Washing my hair" - me
"Mommy..." - Weebles
"Hey! What is duckie doing??" - me
Ahhh she's diverted. So where was I... oh yeah where's the shampoo? Hmm wait where'd the Peanut go? I open the door to see my EIGHT MONTH OLD pretending he's really fourteen months or so climbing the little staircase that we have so that Weeb's can reach the sink. He was STANDING ON THE TOP STEP holding onto the counter. HOLY MOTHER OF #$(#$)(*#)$ I jump out of the shower and run across the room to grab him. Whew... still alive. Better hurry up I think. Just as I'm getting back in I see the Weebles' making a horrible face and batting at her tongue going Mommy, Mommy, Mommy... there was blue stuff all over her tongue. What the hell is blue in here?? I start frantically looking at bottles. Andrew's body wash. I see. Weebs is freaking out and wants out of the shower. So I carefully opened the door so as not to knock the poor Peanut over who had resumed his spot at the door and out she went. As I was hastily rinsing my hair I heard the bathroom door open. Oh great. I reach out to grab my towel only to realize it is gone. Dripping wet I chased my crawling (who knew you could crawl so darn fast?) infant out of the bathroom. I found my towel discarded in the middle of the living room. By that time both kids were sitting in front of the big screen watching Pinky Dinky Doo. Why didn't I think to put them in front of the TV in the first place???
Like Pavlov's Dogs
5 hours ago