* Stanley Steemer every month for the entire year.
* Eight solid hours of sleep every night for a week. Repeat every three months. I could rule the world with that kind of sleep.
* Total and complete silence for five minutes a day. No white noise, no baby monitors, no WonderPets and most definitely no whining.
* A drive through fast food place with all healthy food. Bonus points if it tastes good.
* Crib sheets that actually fit and don't require superhuman strength to get on the mattress.
* Sheets for my bed that stay on and don't constantly come off at the corners. WTH? My sheets are too big, my kids' are too small. Conspiracy to drive me crazy?
* Clothes that are both stylish and comfortable at the same time.
* Something that goes around and constantly puts toys away, Roomba style
* In the event that some of the things on my list are hard to find, I will settle for a live in nanny/housekeeper/chef/masseuse/hairstylist. Can I get a WOOT for daily blowouts?