My children are trying to kill me

So you might have noticed I haven't written anything of substance ever since last Tuesday. There is a very good reason for this. Well actually two reasons. 1.) I'm lazy. but 2.) My kids are trying to do me in. More specifically the Weebles. Did you know toddlers are batshit crazy? CRAZY??!?! Some days she wakes up in the morning screaming her head off. Beside me in bed! She's not even shut up in some horrid crib all by herself abandoned to wake up alone and afraid. No no no. She's snuggled into a king sized feather bed soft cushy snuggle land. Where she sleeps freaking sideways on the pillows no less and kicks her dad in the head all night. It is as though I didn't foresee her need for milk, Blue's Clues, my chap stick fast enough. I should have known before she even woke up to have whatever it is she might want directly in front of her eyes to appease her. The day continues on from there. The least little change in wind direction is apt to throw her into a spiral of despair. And good luck cheering her up because the girl can hold a grudge. And the sleeping, oh my God the sleeping. She just plain doesn't want to. No thank you, none for me today. She didn't go down for a nap yesterday until three. That is 3+ hours later than usual. I admit I gave up for a bit there and told her to watch TV and leave me alone or I might totally lose it but a big chunk of that three hours was spent patting, nursing, negotiating, threatening, yada yada. Bedtime was a similar story except I decided to doze off while she was supposed to be doing the same. She thought it would be clever to poke her finger up my nose. She found this outright hilarious, but I did not share her sentiment. I honestly feel like I spent the entire time I was home yesterday trying to convince someone to sleep. Sigh. I know this is just a phase. We've been here before. And even the very worst of days have moments of clarity where I see her share her favorite toy with her little brother or she runs up and throws her arms around me and gives me kisses. I know we'll weather this rocky patch and come out the other side a little more grown up, both her and me.

Wordless uh Friday? - Dinnertime

Wordless Wednesday

Why naps exhaust me

Today was what I guess you'd call "one of those days." If by "those days" you mean a day where I really did consider getting in my car putting it in drive and going. Keep in mind that to get out of the driveway I have to go in reverse and that by putting it in drive I'd be plowing straight into the woods and you get the picture. Naptime just went straight to hell. I don't know what went wrong. We have a routine, we stick to it. Nobody around here is crazy. We know you do.not.mess.with.the.routine.

Fed the Weebs her lunch, went upstairs to nurse the Peanut and tuck him in. Only he didn't go to sleep. Fine, so I'll tuck him in anyway and go get W ready for nap. Maybe he'll just fall asleep on his own. Diaper, hands and face washed, all fifty seven required lovey items located and thrown onto the bed... arrg there is the P is over the monitor starting to sound panicked. Upstairs I went to discover a funky diaper. Well okay, fair enough kid. Get him all cleaned up, nursed (again) and tucked back in. Teeth brushing for W, another diaper and into the bed with some books. All through Goodnight Moon and ChickaChicka Boom Boom I could hear him up there doh doh dohing and smacking at his crib farm wondering why it wasn't playing. Nurse the W alllllllmost to sleep and figure she'll get herself the rest of the way, things are getting desperate upstairs. Up I go to find a wide awake six month old. Sigh. Fine little man, into the saucer you go. I figured I'd let him hang out with me in the office awhile before his nap.

What's that noise? The Weeble is up? Seriously? WTF? Back downstairs to threaten her with time out if she didn't get back into bed. Major tantrum. She insisted she wanted to sleep upstairs so, wait a minute? did you pee AGAIN? diaper change #3, then up we go to her new toddler bed. I hated to discourage her since she was asking, even though I knew it was going to end badly. Sure enough she was in, she was out. Threats were made. I threw her in her crib for a few LOUD minutes to show her I meant business. Moved Peanut back to his crib since I didn't want to leave him alone in the saucer... back downstairs with W... and so on and so forth. It took me 2 1/2 hours of constant nursing, changing, and threatening to get those two to sleep. I sunk into the couch with the laptop ready to tweet my misery when oh.my.GOD is that my son up already? Seriously did I run over the Patron Saint of Naps' cockapoo or something? Not even ten minutes he slept. As I pondered what to do I heard the Weebs downstairs wailing. Are you kidding me? No freaking way. The afternoon did not improve from there. And as I write this my husband is outside pushing the toddler in the stroller for what must be the ten millionth mile trying to get her to sleep. There's always tomorrow right?

Mishmash Monday

When there just aren't any coherent thoughts... here are some winners I decided not to tweet, complete with hashtags.

The Peanut's first teeth are starting to come in. So far he's been a real champ about it. #thewhiskeymustbeworking

My uncle spent the weekend visiting with us and the kids. He had one too many daiquiris and got the giggles and in general behaved like an asshat. Good times. #atleasthedidn'tstealfromus

Left the Weebles' with her Papa for the first time while I ran to Wal-Mart. Got the call ten minutes later to pick her up. Found her alone in the back yard sobbing in the grass. #babysittingfail

Still pondering how to go about tactfully asking someone I haven't seen in awhile if they are pregnant. Either they are or they need to burn the shirt they are wearing in that photo. #justsayin

Peanut is outgrowing the minicrib but Weebles is still sleeping in the full size one. Can't decide whether to buy a second full size crib or get with the program and finish babyproofing the entire upstairs and move Weebs to a big girl bed. #babybunchinghurtsmybrain

Both my kids are about to be in the same size diapers even though they are a year and a half apart. #thingsthatmakemylifeeasier

After looking at some recent photos on the Facespace I have come to the conclusion that while I never really felt I "got" fashion I am totally lost at what people are wearing these days. I saw a picture of one girl wearing a full on 80's get up and then another her same age wearing a skin tight t-shirt with a picture of a wrestler on it. #imustbereallyreallyreallyold

Like * Dislike * Love

This is inspired by Crunchy Domestic Goddess.

I like that it isn't so hot today and we are actually able to set foot outside without feeling miserable.

I love that it is Friday and I will get a real weekend for the first time in two weeks.

I love to eat yummy food.

I dislike that eating aforementioned yummy food isn't really helping with losing baby weight.

I love that I am able to stay home with my babies.

I dislike that I often feel like I don't know what to do with them to keep them entertained.

I love the internets. That makes me feel pretty sad, actually.

I dislike it when my cats decide to pee in inappropriate places such as the diaper bag.

I love my new laundry room and washer and dryer. Somebody called it laundry porn and they aren't kidding. Ahhh so lovely.

I like that my husband is going to finally hang the baby gate at the top of the stairs this weekend or I may decide to dislike him.

I love that my toddler says please, thank you, excuse me and I'm sorry and she's not even two. She does this because her father and I always use those words with her. Amazing how simple teaching manners can be.

I dislike a certain someone that has ruined the lives of several people close to me. I love how sweet it is going to be when the law finally rides into town.

I like lemons.

I love French Fryz (name of a restaurant)

Which brings me to a dislike: People that misspell words like Fryz thinking it is cute.

I love that I was able to have my two babies with no medical intervention.

I love that I was able to breastfeed through my pregnancy and have been able to tandem nurse. I don't know what I would have done without that.

Speaking of: I LOVE that I am not pregnant this summer. :)

Happy weekend!

24

If given one day from my pre-baby life here is roughly how I'd spend it.

I'd sleep. I'd take some Tylenol PM if I had to but dammit I'd sleep. A lot. Like at least ten hours. Considering I get about four (total, not in a row) now that would be quite a change.

I would actually plan out something decent for myself to eat rather than grabbing at whatever is closest and fastest and will also suit a toddler that basically likes rice, fruit and chicken nuggets.

I would take a shower without having to worry about the toddler that had insisted on coming in with me and just how cold she must be because she refuses to get under the water. The poor kid is a babysicle every time. Then I'd take a bath. With adult bubble bath instead of the pthalate free kid variety. It would also be at least 110 degrees.

I might even watch a little TV. I watch NO TV now unless Noggin counts. I miss the Daily Show.

I think I'd go to a movie. It has been right at two years since I've been to one. I doubt I've missed anything but still...

And I suppose given that I will have had an entire day to myself I might even get around to spending a little time with the husband. As it is now both of us are running on such a "me time" deficit that we gladly wave goodbye to each other when the last kid is finally in bed in search of our own activities. Meaning I usually twitter and go to bed and Andrew usually stays up and draws. And those are the nights when there is any time at all left over for such a thing. Tonight will not be one of those nights.

However, as much as I'd love to fit in a little more time for my old life I know how I would really spend the day. I'd spend it missing the hell out of my babies and running to find them where ever they were.