My children are trying to kill me

So you might have noticed I haven't written anything of substance ever since last Tuesday. There is a very good reason for this. Well actually two reasons. 1.) I'm lazy. but 2.) My kids are trying to do me in. More specifically the Weebles. Did you know toddlers are batshit crazy? CRAZY??!?! Some days she wakes up in the morning screaming her head off. Beside me in bed! She's not even shut up in some horrid crib all by herself abandoned to wake up alone and afraid. No no no. She's snuggled into a king sized feather bed soft cushy snuggle land. Where she sleeps freaking sideways on the pillows no less and kicks her dad in the head all night. It is as though I didn't foresee her need for milk, Blue's Clues, my chap stick fast enough. I should have known before she even woke up to have whatever it is she might want directly in front of her eyes to appease her. The day continues on from there. The least little change in wind direction is apt to throw her into a spiral of despair. And good luck cheering her up because the girl can hold a grudge. And the sleeping, oh my God the sleeping. She just plain doesn't want to. No thank you, none for me today. She didn't go down for a nap yesterday until three. That is 3+ hours later than usual. I admit I gave up for a bit there and told her to watch TV and leave me alone or I might totally lose it but a big chunk of that three hours was spent patting, nursing, negotiating, threatening, yada yada. Bedtime was a similar story except I decided to doze off while she was supposed to be doing the same. She thought it would be clever to poke her finger up my nose. She found this outright hilarious, but I did not share her sentiment. I honestly feel like I spent the entire time I was home yesterday trying to convince someone to sleep. Sigh. I know this is just a phase. We've been here before. And even the very worst of days have moments of clarity where I see her share her favorite toy with her little brother or she runs up and throws her arms around me and gives me kisses. I know we'll weather this rocky patch and come out the other side a little more grown up, both her and me.