Driving while impaired

I always heard from my dad growing up that the craziest drivers on the road were in minivans. Of course, nobody else on the road knows how to drive but him so his complaints don't end there but that's a story for another day.. Now that I pilot a minivan and have cause to do so I not only have to agree with him but can also completely understand why. What could be distracting me behind the wheel? Well let's just review some of the things I've done while driving just in the last 24 hours or so. First off, I've driven erratic speeds. It's just as annoying to me as it is to those following me but I speed way up when my passengers are melting down and I want to get where we are going in a hurry! Then when I realize we just aren't going to get there fast enough I try to think of other ways to appease them. Snack? Toy? Pat on the head? So I slow down so that I can bend my right arm the opposite direction from how God intended it to go to hand over whatever I can find nearby to my tiny passengers. Just this morning I handed over the entire contents of a kids' meal including the cup of mandarin oranges. Be warned, don't go there. I now get the pleasure of trying to decide which I'd rather avoid more during their naptime, Jillian or cleaning orange syrup-y stuff off the car seat. Neither of which involve me sitting down twittering and reading blogs. So its really no wonder that minivan drivers aren't paying attention to the road. I really need a driver or another adult with me at all times so that one of us can focus on actually driving. But who am I kidding? If I had another adult to help me out I wouldn't use them for that purpose. I'd be letting them babysit while I took a nap myself.